warning: falling rocks next ten miles

seriously. it gets worse before it gets better. as in, it got worse after my last post.

went to bed. tried to sleep. ryan adams usually helps to lull me. but not this time. i think too much. which is bad when you're supposed to be drowsing off into sleep. and saturday night, thinking turned into freaking which translated into possible anxiety attack (?) and not sleeping until about five o'clock in the morning. around two or three i gave up the idea of going to worship team in the morning. i figured i'd be lucky to make it to the eleven o'clock service.
i did make it, though i felt pretty rough. yay for hanging out with george and listening to the sermon later. there was no way i could have paid attention. my coherence level was not the highest it's ever been. went to the mall with arielle to look for a birthday present for anna carol, and survived walking up and down and looking around for awhile even though i was so tired. then (because we needed both caffeine and a reward for actually finding something) we went to caffe driade. let me just say, a driade shake is very nearly equivalent to heaven on earth. it's the closest thing i've found so far, anyway. when we got home, we had a little roomie party for hannah's birthday: pizza and cupcakes. fun stuff. watched a mighty wind (funny funny) and then drugged myself with the homeopathic herbal sleepy stuff (poppies, my pretty! not kidding; first ingredient) that janet recommended to me and put myself to bed. not a bad day to have after an evil night. and i slept better. i still had trouble falling asleep, but i could tell the herbal stuff helped me relax a lot.
i was tired all day today, too. it was hard to get up this morning, but arielle was even later getting up than me. so she was late to work. but it didn't matter to me. we stopped to get coffee anyway, partly because i just really wanted an americano (double shot, please!) which was really good even though she didn't hear that i wanted cream. so i drank it black. yum. so i got to school at about 9:30 (my first class having started at 9:05) and proceeded to drop my classes. yep, that's right. you heard me. too many stressors in my life. and if i can get rid of one of them that easily, then so be it. it wasn't the classes: loved both the teachers and was making a's consistently. it just isn't where i need to be right now.
work was fun today, because i was working with some of my favorite people. and steph and i were having not-so-great days together. it helps to not be feeling crappy by yourself. and michael isn't dead after losing about a pint of blood a day for...how many days? which makes us happy. and we went to steph & angelique's to watch the game after work. and i slept through most of the first half. but i woke up and watched the second half. and we won. yay.
anyway. an interesting couple of days. and now i have to go drug myself again (the bottle says it works best after two or three days of taking it) and go to bed.
peace out.