yet when i hoped for good, evil came;
when i looked for light, then came darkness.
job 30:26
when i looked for light, then came darkness.
job 30:26
what is it that brings on these dark days?
when my soul gets so dry that i don't even have a smile to give to the guy who's trying to joke with me in order to cheer me up - it wears me out. i want to sleep for three days straight. i don't think i'd even have the energy to just hang out with a friend, though that's what i've been longing to do. too much time alone isn't good for me. so it seems like i've been doing things kind of backwards: seeing hundreds of people who don't really mean much to me at work, and then usually seeing pretty much no one at all afterwards. wait. am i rambling? good. it's my blog. i'll continue. *sigh* i wish i could see more of you more often. i need you, you know. if it weren't for you (yes, and you too!), i wouldn't have the means to become who i'm meant to be. i would crumble to dust and fade away. i should call you, i know. but maybe you could call me sometimes? we could, i don't know - get a cup of coffee....go browse through a bookstore....see a movie....make dinner (i cook better with help!)...whatever. just a thought. i really should call you, though, shouldn't i? see, my problem is that i really don't like to think i might be inconveniencing you in any way... which is silly, right? basically, it would appear that deep down i don't think i'm worth taking up any of your valuable time. which is crap. but's good that i've identified it, and even better that i've identified it as a load of hogwash. but now there is the matter of changing what i believe. i don't know - maybe you could help me with that a little? i certainly need help. lots of help. i'm quite ready and willing to admit it. but no pressure. i mean, whatever works for you. i know most of you are in school and as such, this is horrible timing for such a post. please realize that i understand that you all (students or otherwise) have valid and necessary reasons for being as busy as you are. all i'm saying is that i've been lonely of late. and it's hard sometimes for me to find the middle ground between being lonely and being overwhelmed by lots of people. i love you all, and i am so, so thankful for the time that i do get with each of you. your smiles brighten my day. your words strengthen my heart. your faces reflect the face of God. thanks for listening.
when my soul gets so dry that i don't even have a smile to give to the guy who's trying to joke with me in order to cheer me up - it wears me out. i want to sleep for three days straight. i don't think i'd even have the energy to just hang out with a friend, though that's what i've been longing to do. too much time alone isn't good for me. so it seems like i've been doing things kind of backwards: seeing hundreds of people who don't really mean much to me at work, and then usually seeing pretty much no one at all afterwards. wait. am i rambling? good. it's my blog. i'll continue. *sigh* i wish i could see more of you more often. i need you, you know. if it weren't for you (yes, and you too!), i wouldn't have the means to become who i'm meant to be. i would crumble to dust and fade away. i should call you, i know. but maybe you could call me sometimes? we could, i don't know - get a cup of coffee....go browse through a bookstore....see a movie....make dinner (i cook better with help!)...whatever. just a thought. i really should call you, though, shouldn't i? see, my problem is that i really don't like to think i might be inconveniencing you in any way... which is silly, right? basically, it would appear that deep down i don't think i'm worth taking up any of your valuable time. which is crap. but's good that i've identified it, and even better that i've identified it as a load of hogwash. but now there is the matter of changing what i believe. i don't know - maybe you could help me with that a little? i certainly need help. lots of help. i'm quite ready and willing to admit it. but no pressure. i mean, whatever works for you. i know most of you are in school and as such, this is horrible timing for such a post. please realize that i understand that you all (students or otherwise) have valid and necessary reasons for being as busy as you are. all i'm saying is that i've been lonely of late. and it's hard sometimes for me to find the middle ground between being lonely and being overwhelmed by lots of people. i love you all, and i am so, so thankful for the time that i do get with each of you. your smiles brighten my day. your words strengthen my heart. your faces reflect the face of God. thanks for listening.
rain on my mind, i've got a secret life
wipe it away, nothing can make me dry
fight all the while, fight 'til i think i'm free
fear reigns so we never see beautiful secret lives
-copeland-
if i say, "surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like day,
for darkness is as light to You.
psalm 139:11-12
wipe it away, nothing can make me dry
fight all the while, fight 'til i think i'm free
fear reigns so we never see beautiful secret lives
-copeland-
if i say, "surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like day,
for darkness is as light to You.
psalm 139:11-12
4 comments:
let me put it in words you can understand..
"Yours is the first face that I saw
I think i was blind before i met you
And i don't know where i am
I don't know where i've been
But i know where i want to go"
:)
*much laughter*
my phone's on vibrate for YOU..
Hi. :)
See you on Thursday.
Hi. I am George's friend Colleen. I don't know you either. But I don't own the legend of chin. Thanks for the recommendation. I'll look into it.
Alyssa I love you a ton and I would love to call you especially being that I am in town, but I don't happen to posses your number.
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