holiday? what?

i am feeling decidedly non-festive. in fact, i haven't felt "christmas spirit" or "holiday cheer" whatsoever this year. i still enjoy the finding-things-to-give-people part, and the hanging-out-with-friends-and-family part, but i don't know. there is no balsam-smile. no tinsel-joy. i almost got inspired at one point to hang lights on the balcony, but it never happened. i'm just not a party girl, i guess...