expectations

oh, my expectations.  

i have to admit, they are a constant problem for me.  i keep trying to shed the unrealistic/unhelpful expectations that i tend to hang over the heads of those around me - over my own head most of all.  but always they seem to creep back into my mind.  i try to lay them down, but they crawl back up.  and i realize that things like this are a process - sometimes a very slow process.  

it has occurred to me that i cannot reasonably expect anything of anyone else, really.  because we all are different, all differently affected by life and all the millions of things that buzz and swarm therein.  i can't know what i can reasonably expect of you unless i know you well.  VERY well.  even better than i know myself, maybe - because do i always know what i can reasonably expect of my own self?  well, no.  absolutely no.  i baffle myself nigh-constantly, to be honest.

and yes, i am learning myself, more and more.  learning the woman i am gradually-yet-continually being shaped into.  but i digress, and myself is certainly not the most important thing i learn.  and myself is not where my focus needs to be.

because i realized recently that maybe, instead of striving to live without expectations, i need to simply turn them toward a different object.  

think on this with me: i do know what i can expect of God.  at least in part.  because He has told me (yes, i'm talkin' about the bible), and continues to teach me (and here, i refer to the Holy Spirit) what i can expect from Him.  as i grow in knowing His character, i understand more of how i can expect Him to act...  (this is also, by the way, the best way i learn myself.  through learning the One who created me.)

i took a good look today at david's words psalm 42:11 - "why are you cast down, o my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?  hope in God; for i shall again praise Him, my salvation & my God." (esv)

i'm equating "hope" with "expectation" here, which might be a tiny bit of liberty taken...but at least thesaurus.com agrees with me!  (;  here's how my mind breaks it down:

hope in God.  expect Him to act according to His character - for His glory and my good.  for i shall again praise Him.  because i know that His plans are perfect.  that in the end, all shall be well.  not the world's idea of well, but a much-bigger-picture version.  in fact, the highest version.

hope in - expect much of - God.  not others.  not myself.  because that's what creates turmoil.  hope & expectation turned the wrong way 'round.

expect God to act, because He has acted in the past.  He has continually proven His motives pure and right.  He has brought about my salvation time and time again.  remember, o my soul - and remembering, hope.

expect God to act, because He can.  He is God - my God.  His will will be done.  He has the means, the resources, the power.  He can do whatever He wants to do.  and He does (psalm 135:6).

do you struggle with expecations?  i'd love to hear your thoughts!